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 Speaking on “The Power of One” and her new book, Prime Time, Jane Fonda was interviewed in the August 2011 issue of O magazine – I loved some of the things she had to say, because it suddenly hit her… she didn’t need a man to feel whole. She had spent nine years without a relationship, working on herself, thinking about what she wanted to continue with, and things she wanted to change. She became really clear about who she was. Of her current relationship, she stated:
“I have my own life…I don’t share every single aspect of it with him. I’m not losing myself in this relationship. I’m bringing myself…and he’s giving me his real self, too. We’re both coming into this relationship whole. We don’t censor ourselves, or leave what we think may not be good enough outside, on the porch.” Jane Fonda
>> Read the full article here
I have lost my own self in relationships, and this past eighteen months has been a journey to be able to bring my full self – to not give it up anymore because I think I should be a certain way – it’s a journey – it continues – but I’m a lot clearer now!
What do you do to be your own self?
Have a BLISSED day!
Carolyne
Have you ever heard someone speak and you had no idea the impact they would have on you?
That was me, last week!
I read a poem at a luncheon I hosted with WISH’s Tera Warner, and heard it repeated by Leigh Anne Tuohy, whose family was made famous with the movie “The Blind Side”. The funny thing is that when I read the poem it was brought to my attention that I didn’t have starfish on the table, but sand dollars, so I changed the wording. After reading Leigh Anne and Sean’s book, “In a Heartbeat”, it reflected exactly the message that Leigh Anne wants to share the most – it doesn’t matter who or what it is (a starfish or a sand dollar), just do something, one thing, and it can make a difference. At the Power of Women in Vancouver, Leigh Anne said “next time you’re standing in line next to someone, acknowledge them”. I have written before in my post “Who Have You Connected Today?” that sometimes we never know the impact or the effect that we can have on someone or something.
I never knew the impact that hearing Leigh Anne speak would have on me. The lineup of speakers included two of my favourites, Suzanne Somers and Ellen and I didn’t even know who Leigh Anne was until I got to Rogers Arena in Vancouver – she was the first one to grace the stage and no one could top her for me that day! Since then I’ve finally watched the movie “The Blind Side” and I just finished her book, written with her husband Sean.
Here are some of my favourite quotes from the book and her keynote, and finally, my sand dollar story – being on the west coast of Canada we are more likely to find these on our beaches up near Parksville, than a starfish.
- “Don’t talk about it. Live it.” Virginia Cummings Roberts
- “Your reputation precedes you – it comes before the actual you, and once it’s gone, it’s gone forever” Sean Tuohy
- “The legacy we leave is not just in our possessions, but in the quality of our lives. The greatest waste in all our earth, which cannot be recycled or reclaimed, is our waste of the time that God has given us each day.” Billy Graham
- “When you’re going through tough times, that’s when you most need to give back.” Mother of Reed Sandridge, who, when finding himself unemployed from a not for profit gave $10 a day to someone in Washington, DC and started blogging about it – strangers, inspired by his gesture started stepping up. You can read about Reed’s experiences on his blog “Year of Giving” which it looks like, two years later he is still giving and has grown an amazing organization – ah, the power of one – I’ll be reading more about this organization!
- “Give love and you will always get it back. That’s our story, that’s our message.” Leigh Anne and Sean Tuohy
The Sand Dollar
Adapted for the westcoast yoUnlimited luncheon, from the original, attribted to Loren Eisly
Once upon a time there was a westcoast goddess who went to the ocean to do her writing. She had a habit of walking on the beach before beginning to work. One day she was walking along the shore. As she looked down the beach, she saw a human figure moving like a dancer. Intrigued, she smiled to herself to think of someone who would dance to the day. So she began to walk faster to catch up. As she got closer, she saw that it was a young man and the young man wasn’t dancing, but instead he was reaching down to the shore, picking up something and very gently throwing it into the ocean.
As she got closer she called out, “Good morning! What are you doing?” The young man paused, looked up and replied, “Throwing sand dollars in the ocean. The sun is up and the tide is going out and if I don’t throw them in they’ll die.”
The woman replied, “Don’t you realize that there are miles and miles of beach and sand dollars all along it. You can’t possibly make a difference!”
The young man listened politely, then bent down, picked up another sand dollar, and threw it into the ocean, past the breaking waves and said “I made a difference for that one.”
 Leigh Anne Tuohy states in the conclusion of “In a Heartbeat”… “If there is one meaning we’d like you take from our story, it’s this: the person you just walked past is the one who could change your life. So, every once in a while, stop and turn around. Find out about that person.” Find out more about Leigh Anne and Sean Tuohy and the work they are doing at the Making it Happen Foundation website.
 Nani Power’s post on Craig’s List “please teach me Indian cooking? I will bring ingredients and pay you for your trouble. I would like to know about your culture as well.” led her into into the kitchen and hearts of women who were willing to share their family recipes and stories from their hearts and subsequently to write “Ginger and Ganesh – Adventures in Indian Cooking, Culture and Love”.
When I stumbled upon this book earlier this week at one of my favourite places, the Greater Victoria Public Library it was a gem – I’ll be buying my own copy and in fact gave a copy away at the recent eWomenNetwork wine and cheese, in promotion of our upcoming fundraiser for Girls Can Be, a women’s collective myself and other Victoria business women are forming through the Dirty Wall Project.
Since reading the story of Shalu, a woman who died in the Saki Naka slum in Mumbai, India, my head and heart are full of thoughts of women who feel they have no choice or hope left, when we here in Canada have so much. It was through reading this story, that Delaney Tosh from Surge Strategies and myself, over a cup of Discovery Coffee formed Girls Can Be.
On Wednesday, August 10th, 2011 we’ll be hosting the first fundraiser for Girls Can Be, at 7 pm at Union Pacific Coffee – tickets are available at http://www.younlimited.com
 Why I walk…
Lynn Webb-Thomas lit up the room the first time I met her: she was wearing a brightly coloured outfit, a huge smile, and carrying a big glass of water. Lynn had just been hired to work with BC HRMA on the Annual Conference. She transformed a declining conference into something that flourished with her style, grace, and business savvy.
A few short months before the 2005 annual conference she was diagnosed with Leukemia. Despite her diagnosis, her main focus was on the members of BC HRMA and the success of the conference. At this time I stepped into the role of speaker management for the conference and was lucky to work right alongside Lynn during the preparations and the actual event. We became inseparable. When I had meetings in Vancouver, I would sleep on her couch; and each day I spent with her, I got to know more and more the beautiful woman she is— not only on the outside, but so much on the inside.
Lynn conducted the management of the 2005 conference with less than a handful of people knowing of her diagnosis – I was one of them and I watched with amazement at the unselfishness she exhibited during what must have been not only an emotionally, but physically draining time. She worked tirelessly and it wasn’t until the conclusion of the three days that she shared her diagnosis with the team.
Lynn was the spokesperson for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society a few years ago: a huge honour and some would say very prestigious role. In typical Lynn fashion she didn’t say a word about it – you see, it is never about her, it is always about others. I didn’t even know until I was in Starbucks in Victoria and picked up the pamphlet and saw her picture! She recently received a bone marrow transplant from her sister Bonnie and has been asked to continue speaking about her experiences and how it has impacted her life. Lynn was already living a full life and making such a huge difference in the world that this diagnosis has brought more people into her light, and she, by her mere presence, makes them shine.
Lynn is a mother, daughter, sister, friend, wife, professional, leader and mentor. In all these roles, she is dedicated, caring, thoughtful, and resilient. She never gives up! When I visited Lynn in Vancouver General Hospital after her bone marrow transplant, she had a list ready and wanted to talk about speakers for the 50th annual BC HRMA conference in Vancouver 2012. Fully set up in her room with her new iPad2, she had been researching on the internet, watching YouTube videos and considering potential speakers. She is never short of ideas regarding what will draw the members in, stimulate conversation, and create community.
I am walking because before I met Lynn, I knew one other person who had been diagnosed with Leukemia: Melanie Holmes, an amazing mother and friend. Melanie died one summer close to ten years ago— the day before she was on her way to have a bone marrow transplant. She was an amazing light in our baseball and soccer community. Since Lynn’s diagnosis, many other friends and colleagues have been similarly diagnosed, including another staff member from BC HRMA and a staff member’s son. When I share the story of Lynn, others come forward with their stories.
Furthermore, I am walking because no child should grow up without a mother or a grandmother, no man should lose his wife, and the brightest lights in our communities should not be put out by something so devastating as Leukemia. By making a small donation to my fundraising efforts, community members make a difference – every bit helps! Maybe just for this week, skip a lunch out, a latte, or a movie and instead, go for a walk with someone you love or phone someone you haven’t talked to for a while who has made a difference in your life, then put the money you would have spent towards this cause. It’s that simple! And so many will be grateful!
Blessings,
Carolyne
Visit my donation page at http://my.e2rm.com/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=1167336&langPref=en-CA
 Marian Fortner, Kenmar Flower Farm You just never know the impact that you have, or the connection you have made!
I’m here at Social Media Camp Victoria 2011 and just attended a session on blogging for Business with Miss604 (if you haven’t subscribed to her twitter feed @miss604 or read her blog yet, it’s a definite must), and she gave us several ideas on what to blog on (themes, top five lists) and the length of a good blog post and it got me to thinking – when WAS the last time I posted??
As you know, I love the “Power of Connection” concept – how the right person will be either a) exactly where you need them to be – in person, on the phone or in your email box or b) connect you to just the right person!
Just under a month ago I met with Bonnie Davison of Singing English – she and some of her colleagues, a group of educators are planning a Garden Party and fundraiser on Sunday, June 5th supporting http://www.malawigirlsonthemove.com/ These women are passionate about starting a teacher’s college that would drastically change the lives of young women in Malawi.
Here’s the power of connection part…
- When I met with Bonnie we talked about different things they could do at this event and one of the things they were looking for was flowers
- I asked Bonnie if she knew Zoe, another teacher at their school, because Zoe had a family connection to an amazing florist in Victoria
- Bonnie didn’t know Zoe but I showed her Zoe’s picture on Facebook and suggested that they connect…
Fast forward…to today…
- I stopped by the Community Micro Lending booth at the Social Media Camp at the Victoria Conference Centre because I recognized a colleague from BNI, Marian Fortner from Kenmar Flower Farm
- After learning more about all the great things that Community Micro Lending and the new newlsetter they launched, we talked about what was keeping Marian busy (of course right now it’s weddings and graduation) and then she said “and I’m doing a fundraiser on Sunday”…
You got it….Marian is Zoe’s mom and “the power of connection” strikes again and the interesting thing is that she didn’t know where it started…
Who have you connected that you don’t know about? Do you have a story to tell?
THE EVENT
Women Helping Women
Sunday, June 5th – 2 to 4 pm
1220 Transit Raod, Victoria
Bring your friends, bring your sisters, bring your daughters, bring your mothers, bring your grandmothers, bring your wallets!
This fundraising event will be an exciting party full of fun and inspiring women, hopefully including you! It has been organized by a small group of educators who are passionate about starting a teacher’s college that would drastically change the lives of young women in Malawi.
Please visit www.malawigirlsonthemove.com to learn how the APU school in Malawi is changing lives, one girl at a time!
Please RSVP
email: malawigirlsonthemove@gmail.com
phone: Bonnie @ 250.588.3303
Inspiration ~ generosity ~ humbleness ~ passion ~ perserverence ~ dedication ~ friendship ~ thoughtfulness ~ love ~ joy ~ support…
These are just a few words that I think about when I think about what I experienced throughout my day, International Women’s Day, today. For 100 years, people have been celebrating International Women’s Day. Over the years I have held a few events, heard a few speakers but this year I really took pause to think about the women in my life – today and those that have come and gone.
I am truly blessed – and I know that I say that a lot, but I’m not sure I say it enough because honest to God I could say it every single second that I’m walking on this earth. When I think about the women that were part of my life…just today…I am in awe!
The first person I saw today was one of my very best girlfriends, Susan – we met when I was about 18 years old and we ‘played’ on the same softball team – really she played and I hoped like heck that if the ball came to me I would a) catch it and b) be able to throw it in…and batting…well, lets just say that I love yoga! About eight years after we met, we reconnected – at the baseball field and this time it was our son’s that were playing – pretty much since then we’ve been through thick and thin – Susan holds me accountable to myself and always stands beside me no matter what – I am so thankful. One pretty cool thing about Susan is that she loves everything that is good for our earth – she has an awful lot of knowledge and loves to share it – she writes a blog called “The Green Diet” – she’s just started this in the last few months but talk about a whole bunch of great information! Susan and I get together now a lot to talk about our Arbonne businesses – a passion that we share.
Then I was off to celebrate International Women’s Day with the wonderful women of Bridges for Women – Jan Bate, the Executive Director, has such passion for this organization and Laurie McKenzie put on a great event with guest speaker Mary Ellen Turpel-Lafond, BC’s Representative for Children and Youth. I had the opportunity to connect with Norma McCrea and Carol Hyland and also meet some new women, including a professor from the University of Victoria Business Admin – what a fantastic lady with an incredible memory for names!
“…your home is not the walls of your house…it is your community” Mary Ellen Turpel-Lafond
If you don’t already know about Bridges, they provide employment programs for women who have experienced violence or abuse. Their wishlist for items includes fresh food, USB sticks, and gift cards. There is a mentoring program and they have just started a partnership with Camosun College for Women in Trades. Check out http://www.bridgesforwomen.ca. The doorprize I gave, a complimentary registration for yoUnlimited was won by a lady I had not met before and she had been on Facebook that morning and seen the event posted – and she hardly goes on Facebook – there are no coincidences! Julie Atkinson from New Look Day Spa, who is one of our featured speakers at yoUnlimited is a Mentor with Bridges so it was great to see her at lunch as well. The food was catered by someone named Raymond and it was a medly of flavours – delicious!
And, then I went to the office and did some work…..
….and the reward was, to head up to the Uplands Golf Club for eWomenNetwork Success Summit with the founder of eWomenNetwork, Sandra Yancey – hosted by Kerry Brown, from SuccessBizCoach (and I might add, she does a great job of keeping 100 women organized!)
I have seen Sandra in the movie she produced “Glow” but I was unprepared for the candid way in which she spoke to the group of over 100 women – she spoke of some of the things that have shaped her life – mistakes she made in her business but also what has brought her to the success that she enjoys today. One very cool thing that she talked about was walking along Antique Row (Fort Street in Victoria) and looking at teaspoons and wondering about all the cups of tea they had stirred and thinking about how many conversations of happiness and sadness have been held over a cup of tea (she said this all very eloquently but I hope you get the picture). I honestly had not thought about teaspoons like this before but I knew that my friend Carol would have!
“The universe is never early, never late…it’s always right on time” Sandra Yancey, eWomenNetwork, March 8, 2011
Entrepreneurs Mandy Farmer from Accent Inns, Melinda Cownden from Melinda’s Biscotti and Daniela Cubelic from Silk Road Teas shared their insights into why they do what they do, how they got started, and how they find balance in their lives. The freshness and honesty of these women who are doing great things in this city is so inspiring to me! They all truly love what they do.
I loved Melinda’s approach to getting more business – she looked at what had worked to get five customers and thought “let’s do it again” and she did – over and over – from five locations to over 100! Melinda bakes her biscotti with love and passion – boy can you tell – watch this video and see for yourself.
Women lined up at this event to give away raffle prizes to raise funds for the eWomenNetwork foundation which has provided grants to Bridges and Wear2Start, plus there was a silent auction – I was the lucky bidder on a basket donated by Applause Hair studio - full of great products that I was running low on!
Facebook has been full of messages about Int’l Women’s Day today but I was particulary inspired by my dear friend Lynn who wrote “The wonderful gift is being a woman, the ability to set a tone, to bear children, to encourage, love and be successful in whatever we do. Our identity is not in what we do but in who we are!”
Thank you to each and every one of the amazing women in my life – the circle keeps growing and I am so honoured to be part of your lives.
Learn to pause…or nothing worthwhile will catch up to you. —Doug King
At lunch today I attended a roundtable offered by the BC Human Resources Management Association on “Engaging Aboriginal Communities” with Terrie Klotz of TKL People Unlimited. Terrie, an HR Professional in our community has been working with one of the First Nations Bands in Alberta, delivering her “Living and Leading on Purpose” workshop and spending time working with some of the elders and women to bring healing to their community. In her presentation she spoke of slowing down…of entering her first meeting not really knowing it was a meeting because the CEO who asked her to come didn’t want her to come with an agenda or an outline in mind, simply to let things flow as they were meant to. What I took from this is that sometimes in our culture we bring so many preconceived ideas into things that we don’t slow down and really listen. Terrie talked a lot about ‘building capacity’ with people and this is something she does so well, both in her places of employment and as she served the members of the Vancouver Island Region present at the roundtable.
As I walked back from the meeting, I checked my messages on my iPhone and the quote of the week from Compendium was the one above (you can not miss these amazing quotes by clicking on the hyperlink and subscribing), about pausing…so I did. I didn’t need to rush right back, I hadn’t had lunch yet so I stopped at The Pig BBQ Joint and enjoyed a totally decadant lunch of a combo of my choosing, a piece of fried chicken, crispy fried mac & cheese (now that was totally different) and some of their so delicious coleslaw!
Not to be deterred from my ‘pause’ I also stopped in at Cook Culture which I’ve always wanted to check out and found out they have a kitchen and offer cooking classes – totally fantastic!
I also engaged in conversation with one of the ladies there who writes a food blog, Kim – her blog is Cascadia Kitchen and I’ve just visited the site and OMG the sweetheart puff tarts look completely amazing (as do the other recipes there)! Kim is a real enthusiast about food and cooking and told me about a cooking school in Ireland and also a tasty dish she had while she was visiting an Irish Pub, Fish Pie – I’ve been searching for some recipes for a St. Patrick’s Day dinner I am cooking so that was perfect.
Next, it was to Habit for a delicious soy latte – Habit also is a supporter of the BC HRMA as they made a donation for our Christmas silent auction which raised over $5,200 towards bursaries for Human Resource students at Camosun College.
So, I paused in my day and encountered some very cool things – thanks Victoria for having all these amazing places, people and things to explore!
While I was travelling through Canada and the US this past summer, I stopped at a bookstore to grab a latte and check my email – while this is something I normally would do, on one particular day it really made a difference to two people.
I received an email from a friend in Victoria – she was inspired by Chicago‘s Cancer fundraising efforts which was to auction off to the highest bidder the chance to sing with them. She bid and was the highest bidder for the River Rock Casino concert and her intention was to find someone to take the tickets( preferrably a cancer survivor) When she called me she hoped that I knew someone that would be interested. She hoped to have someone who herself gave to the community and who would be willing to share on stage that she was a survivor.
Within moments I knew exactly who I needed to connect with my friend that I met in the early days of my son’s soccer playing days. This mom was at every game, always had a smile and kind word for everyone – she was also at the baseball park – she volunteered and so did her husband – she works and raised three boys while her husband also had his own business. She was also the first person who had really talked about her breast cancer in my presence – her initial diagnosis, what she was going through and her recovery process. We would go for walks while she was still off work and although we’d been meaning to go again, a lot had transpired in my life and I was disconnected not only from her, but from a few others as well. But, with no doubt that she would be the right person for the Chicago concert, I confidently shared her contact information and carried on with my trip.
It was in my mind, but I had put my thoughts back on my travels and my own journey I was taking and it was so amazing to receive a phone call several weeks later, thanking me for making the connection. My two friends had connected and she had gone to the concert. This is how she explained it to me “it was the best thing ever for me….when I found out that I had cancer it was like I took one huge inhale of breath and just held it there – not wanting to let it go – holding the fear of the cancer inside of me….standing on stage and singing with Chicago I let it all out – it was like I had been waiting to exhale”.
Isn’t that awesome?
If you want to help with the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation – here are ways you can http://www.cbcf.org/en-US/How%20you%20can%20help.aspx
From yoga pants and flip flops to sweaters and boots with heals, from quiet (well, as quiet as Mexico can be) to all night partying (not me, everyone else) – two nights ago I was in yoga bliss in Mexico and now I’m in Vegas – both part of my world but so vastly different!
So, this morning I woke before the sunrise and contemplated this – others are sleeping in the room next door so I can’t do a full on yoga practice as the music or noise might wake them so I start my day with meditation.
You have to understand, meditation is something I’ve always wanted to do – or thought I should do – I bought a timer so that I could sit still for 10 minutes and it would tell me when the time was up – where is that timer now?
But this morning, I started with 9 Half Sun Salutations http://www.yogabasics.com/yoga-posture-sequences/half-sun-salutation.html and then sat myself down in front of an amazing view of Vegas, closed my eyes, and did 54 slow deep breaths – starting with an exhale you say to yourself, exhale 54 (5 counts), inhale 54 (5 counts), exhale 53, inhale 53 – the trick is that you are focusing on your breath and thereby it’s harder for random thoughts to come into your mind – and honestly, for someone who’s mind never stops – I have to say it works – if you lose track of your counting you have to start again at 54 – I didn’t though and I sat and breathed and counted and you’ll never guess what – that 10 minutes that felt so hard to sit through before – I was amazed that I sat and 15 minutes went by!
Try it – you might like it!
Skyline from penthouse at MGM Grand Signature Tower 3
18 minutes later – after sun salutations and meditation – how much brighter the day is!
p.s. am in Vegas for the Arbonne conference – we are launching new products tonight – and have some great training and celebrations in store for us over the next three days
In Adventure, Joy and Abundance,
Carolyne
1.18.11
(This was previously published on Jan 18/11 on Facebook – I am just attempting integration with my blog, Facebook and Twitter – ahh, technology)
Day 3 – 365 Days of Adventure, Joy and Abundance
Our perspective can change so much if we just move a few feet over! Since I arrived in Puerto Vallarta I have eaten at least six times at the vegetarian buffet restaurant (you can find the link over on the right hand side bar) and…every day I have taken the south set of stairs to get up or down to the entrance.
Today, however, after I left the restaurant, I walked into town to pick up a latte at Starbucks and I decided to come up the stairs on the north side. RIGHT in front of the entrance to the restaurant there is a peace pole – I’m sure it has been there the whole time but today, 10 days after I arrived here, I saw it for the first time. It reads “May Peace Prevail on Earth”.
What would you see if you took a different set of stairs, or took an alternate route when you walked to your car or bus stop?
See how close the peace pole is to the door?
Shanti, shanti, shanti
Carolyne
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